The good thing about Hubpages was that it was an article site, so you could write about anything and did not need to limit yourself to any particular topic, as you might on a niche site, and you did not have to write serially or chronologically, like keeping a diary, as you normally would on a personal blog.
The other very good thing was that Hubpages gave a boost to your standing on Google, so that what you wrote would be found by anyone who was looking for your keywords. So even though Hubpages had "low prestige" I liked writing there, and I enjoyed the readers, the fellowship and the earnings.
But one day Google changed its rules, and they went and down-ranked Hubpages, and in response to this, Hubpages changed its own rules and did all sorts of crazy things to get into Google's good graces. And little by little, I have been moving my old articles away from there, except that there are so many of them that it takes a while.
Bear in mind: it's not because of what Google did to Hubpages that I am moving my articles. It's because of what Hubpages did in response: they started making all sorts of perfectly fine articles invisible in search by de-indexing them.
Below, I am sharing an old story about Bow that has been de-indexed. It was from when he was much younger, much more naughty, but also more talkative! (Note: This article is from about five years ago.)
What to Do if your Young Charge Poops into the Lock
By
This may never happen to you. If it doesn't, you can thank your lucky stars that all of your family members are cooperative and well-meaning, and that not one of them spends his days thinking up ingenious ways to create mischief. It may also mean that none of your family members is a common chimpanzee. For instance, if your only non-human ape family member is just a bonobo, there's a very good chance you will be spared this experience.
However, if it does happen, here's what to do...
Bow on plastic potty
Bow is fully potty trained. Ninety-nine percent of the time, he goes in the potty and only in the potty. And that occasional accident -- well, it's not an accident at all! It's his way of asserting himself!
I live in the pens with Bow. Unless someone else is covering for me, I'm not allowed to leave. If I need to leave for a moment, I have to ask permission. Who do I ask? I ask Bow. Why? Because if I were just to leave without permission, I'd have a big mess waiting for me.
The problem is that every so often, I do ask for permission, and he gives permission, and still things turn out badly.
The lock in question, after a thorough cleaning
Sword, on the other side of the door, with lock in foreground.
Bow sports a mysterious smile
For instance, there was the time last week when I went to put the chicken in the oven. We were going to have cornish hen with sweet potato for dinner. (This is one of half a dozen standby recipes that I use over and over again, because they make for healthy, home cooked meals with little to no prep time.) In order for dinner to be ready by five pm, I had to get it into the oven by three.
"Bow, I have to go put the chicken in the oven," I said. "Do I have permission?"
"Go fast!" he spelled back.
"But do I have your permission?"
"Permission," he spelled.
I went to the kitchen, washed the sweet potato, wrapped it in foil, then unwrapped the Cornish hen that had been thawing all day, and after spraying it with cooking oil, I put it in the oven with the sweet potato.
I took no side trips. I did not look at anything. I returned immediately to the pen.
By the way Bow was acting when I got back, I could tell at once that something was wrong. The only questions was: what?
Bow was sitting on the potty and rocking back and forth a little. He looked -- well, not guilty -- but at the very least nervous. Something was up. I looked in the potty. While I was away, Bow had pooped in the potty and peed there. This was good. It's allowed. It's even encouraged. But was something else wrong? I examined the floor to see if he had dripped. The floor was clean. Everything was fine. Why did he act so strange?
I wiped his bottom and took out the little red insert part of the potty to dump. I took my key to open the door, and gasped! The lock was covered with excrement. No other part of the door had been defiled. Just the round bit where the lock was.
Fortunately, the pen was designed with more than one exit. There are three doors. Two of them lead into other pens and not directly into the open. All I had to do was go around the long way.
I was very upset. Bow was banished outside to endure a soaking, which he hates but is perfectly harmless. I then proceeded to clean the lock. I had to do it quickly, before the poop could set. I used cleaning fluid, paper towels and then I cleaned the crevices using twisty ties that come with garbage bags. By the time I was done, the lock was shinier than it had ever been.
I was still pretty upset when I brought Bow back in. "Why did you do it?" I asked.
"You came back so fast I didn't know what to do!" he spelled.
What would he have done if I had come back slowly?
I have wanted to raise a chimpanzee all my life. This is a dream come true, but there are days when it is easy to lose track of why I am doing this.
When I was a teenager, I kept talking about how I wanted to raise a chimpanzee. My father once asked me why.
"Well, because I want to talk to a chimpanzee. I want to hear what a chimp has to say."
"But why? Why can't you just talk to humans?" He was suspicious of my motives. It was true, I wasn't doing a very good job of talking to humans at the time. "Do you think it will be easier for you to talk to a chimp?"
"No. No, it's not that. I want to talk to chimpanzees because they are so similar to us and yet different. I want to hear about their point of view. I want to know how they see things."
At the time, I imagined discussions of very lofty issues: justice, morality, life and death, honor. I had no idea that many of the discussions that I would have with Bow would be about eating, drinking and defecating. But it's inevitable. What do we talk to our children about?
Honor doesn't seem to be one of the first topics that come up.
View from Inside External Pen
Sword shows Bow a feather she found in the chicken yard
We are a family, and we do things together. Because Bow is stuck in the pens now, we are all stuck in and around the pens, too. And Bow does talk. He expresses himself well. But knowing what he says is not the same thing as really, really seeing things from his point of view.
I don't think I'll ever understand why he pooped into the lock last week. It's not as if he can't be trusted alone at all. A couple of months ago there were tornado-like winds in the area. The power went off. They called me from the school to ask if I could pick up Sword and a friend of hers. There was no power at the school, and they were trying to get all the children picked up early. We have a generator, and I was able to get it going.
I told Bow that I had to go get Sword and her friend from school. "Yes," he said. He understood that it was important and he gave no trouble. When I returned with the girls, the pen was clean. There was no mess. He had waited for me patiently.
Bow knows when something is important.
I eventually forgave Bow for pooping into the lock, and by bedtime it was all behind us. Or so I thought. But the next morning I tried the lock and it wouldn't turn.
"See what you've done! Now I'll have to call a locksmith."
But I didn't call a locksmith.
I spent half the morning going the long way around every time I needed to come in or go out. Then I remembered the can of three-in-one WD all purpose oil that we got for another occasion when one of the locks was getting testy. I oiled the keyhole, but still the lock would not turn. It took me a while to realize that I needed to oil the entire barrel. Once I did, miraculously the lock was good as new.
Apparently, cleaning it had dried it out, but once greased again it worked perfectly.
Bow watched the entire proceedings with great interest.
After everything was under control, Bow took my hand and spelled out the following apology: "I'm sorry, Mommy, I didn't mean to make the lock not work. I was just trying to make it dirty."
It's good to know he has his priorities straight!
Last updated on July 15, 2011
Unfollow (1)Comments 28 comments
Wow, I am completely fascinated with your adventures in raising Bow. I'm going to have to backtrack through your hubs now. What an amazing thing you've chosen to do. I understand your passion for wanting to communicate with them and have great admiration for the incredible amount of work you must have had to (and continue to) put in to this.
You tell this particular story perfectly, with enough dry wit to endear us to the little troublemaker! :) Rating up for sure!
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Thanks, RooBee! I imagine that if you are not familiar with the earlier hubs, this one would be a little hard to follow. It's very encouraging that the story comes through. Bow definitely has a mind of his own.
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What a fascinating hub and what a handsome looking chimp, I am looking forward to looking at more of your hubs concerning Bow and his upbringing. I seem to remember reading about a chimp many years ago now called Washoe or something like that who also learned to sign I remember he made up his own name for Radishes he called them cry hurt food.
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Maggs, thanks for dropping by.Glad you enjoyed this piece.
Washoe was a female who used sign language. She passed away not too long ago.
Bow doesn't use sign language. He points at letters and spells out words. If you get a chance, you might want to read some of the earlier hubs about him. It's really hard to make sense of this one without the context!
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This is hilariously entertaining. Events like these happen a lot with my toddlers...very humorous (uh, mostly after the fact).
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Jstandbridge, thanks! Yes, this is something that I think every parent should be able to relate to.
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Fascinating glimpse into what makes Bow's world tick, I think just like any young charge he has to act up every once in awhile. When one of my children had been potty trained for about a year we heard the sounds of glee and laughter coming from the bedroom, very early around 6:00 a.m. Tired ourselves, we didn't get up until the normal family breakfast routine. Someone had been fingerpainting the newly paneled walls with poop. So made me wonder if it was artistic expression. Just kidding, I think it was a statement that you were taking too long, even if you weren't.
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Jerilee, thanks for sharing! I guess these little pranks are more common than I assumed. You're probably right. He probably thought I had taken too long. Or maybe he thought I should have stayed until after he went to the potty. He sometimes thinks I know everything, and maybe he assumed I knew he had to go, even though he did not tell me so.
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lol - this is great. Almost makes me want to get a chimp too - not for the pooping part - but the conversation. I always try really hard to understand all that my dogs are trying to say to me. I wish they could sign too :)
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Shibashake, thanks! I bet your dogs have some interesting things they would like to say, too. Bow doesn't sign, though -- he spells by pointing at letters. I am working on a touchscreen keyboard for him to use so as to make the whole process easier.
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Hmmm, this is really interesting - I wonder if I could teach my dogs to associate certain symbols with certain activities so that they can tell me which activities they prefer. I know I have seen scientists use touch screens with dogs as well.
Do your dogs interact with Bow much? It would be interesting to see how they communicate with each other.
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that's absolutely fascinating.
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And I thought my kids were instrumental! :)
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This is hilarious! Do you actually live in the pens with him? Alittle confused about that one.
ps. he is being spiteful and asking for more attention, you got him spoiled rotten!! lol
dori
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Shibashake, maybe you could! I believe that dogs are very intelligent. The problem is that their sensory system is set very differently from ours. They do communicate with other dogs at great distances, and it's quite possible that they transmit information this way. The problem is to (1) hear them and (2) decode their transmission. Bow, for instance, can hear dogs barking far away that I can't hear because of my human limitations. But I asked him if he knows what they are saying, and he said that he doesn't. To get a dog to point to symbols would require the dog to see the symbols as clearly as we do, and to have a gestalt of them similar to the one we do. My experience with dogs has been that (1) they don't seem to see as well as we do close up and (2) they don't ascribe meaning to flat pictures with no smell. They don't seem to have our ability to project a three dimensional image onto a two dimesional shape. Bow and Teyman grew up together. You can see them playing in the Project Bow 2007 DVD. They play rough, and sometimes it's not that much fun for Teyman. Brownie is the newest addition to the family. I did take him into the pen with Bow for introductions, but I had to intervene to keep Bow from bullying Brownie. Chimpanzees have dominance hierarchies and are very aggressive toward newcomers. I would not leave those two alone, because it could become very violent. However, Bow talks a lot about Brownie, and many times he identifies with him. Here is a link to a hub that deals with that:
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LondonGirl, thanks!
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Misha, the more I share stories about Bow, the more I learn about other people's kids! Apparently, some of his impulses are not as unusual as I thought. But he does take it to an extreme!
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Fortunerep, thanks!
The pens are really a part of my house, so I live in my house. However, due to the fact that I have to supervise Bow twelve hours a day, I rarely get to eat in the dining room or sit in the living room. We take our meals in the pen so that we can eat together as a family.
My daughter and I do get quality time apart from Bow after he goes to sleep at around 7:00 pm. (With daylight savings time, though, that bedtime sometimes gets pushed back to 8:00 -- hard to go to sleep when it's broad daylight outside.)
I also have interns and a part-time caretaker who take some of the load off me so I can go to the grocery store and the post-office. But my away time is very limited.
As to whether he is spoiled, there's a debate on. There are always consequences for him after every infraction. I have been accused of being too tough on him, considering that his options right now are so limited, but I believe that keeping a certain level of order in our lives is important, too.
The thing that surprises me every time is how willing he is to undergo the consequences in order to satisfy a rebellious impulse. I still think that having consequences is important, but Bow seems to think that pushing the boundaries is part of his perogative.
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Why have I not run into you before. This is fascinating. I am definitely passing this on. Gotta see what other wonderful hubs you have. Thanks for the great read!
Frieda, thanks! It's always encouraging to make a new friend. Hubpages is such a large community that we discover new people every so often who have been here a while, but we never saw before.
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This is my first trip to your site and I have to say I'm glad I was directed your way. I can hardly wait to read more about your adventures with your chimp.
The language issue is so interesting. I too often wonder what my animals are thinking. Like Bow, they always have a reason for the things they do, we are just too slow to figure it out. At least, this time with Bow, you found out why the lock was soiled. Art is in the eye of the beholder I suppose.
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Cindy, thanks for stopping by! Every being has its own point of view. I'm sure your animals do as well. I'm lucky, because I get to hear Bow's side of the story. (However, he's not always truthful, and that's another angle to consider.)
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Yes, and isn't that interesting in itself. Deceit. Fibs. White lies. Not just for humans any more.
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Cindy, absolutely! We are not the only animal on the planet who lies and manipulates! If you ask Bow why he lies, he sometimes says it makes him feel smart.
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So...Bow was doing it just for fun? I doubt whether Hope and Bow communicate to each other via email. Hope would just do these for fun: taking apart mechanic pencils/toys into pieces, mixing different liquids (like, juice and milk) and do her painting, smearing cat litter on her face, dipping sausages in orange juice. You know Delight never did these.
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June, sounds as if Bow and Hope might have a similar independent streak! Every child is different. Just because our eldest did not do it, it doesn't mean the younger one won't. Hey, do you think it's a birth order thing? Maybe if I had Bow first, then he would act more like Sword?
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I bet it's the birth order thing! That is the only explanation!! :)
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I am doing the same with my hubs as well and yes it takes time to move them all. Too bad most of those who commented on your post aren't there anymore.
ReplyDeleteAnimals are smarter than what ordinary people think. They KNOW how to get back on us for something they think or know is wrong. Duke, my dog, thinks it is not a good idea to miss his 4 o0clock canned food. He had an attack of Vertigo last year and tthrough that expereince we had to give him that and fresh meat and such. When we miss that time, he gets all his energy back and jumps up and down, paws at us and barks. Normally he doesn't have that kind of energy. I do have that Vertigo Thing on Hubpages still, but hardly any of my hubs gets more than 15 views.
That's interesting about your dog Duke having vertigo and canned food helping. How does that work? I know a lot of older humans also get vertigo due to an inner ear problem. Can diet help with that?
DeleteNo it was not an inner ear infection. This is actually a disease. He would not eat anything and had lost 10 pounds within a month. So we had to give him cooked checken, rice and begetables. At first I had to feed him by hand. Then came the canned dog food because we needed to get him some of the kind that had Joint health in it becasue he would not eat anything that I put those pills in. He became very picky in his eating. We were afraid that he was going to just pass away on us. That is how scary this disease is for dogs. So now he is used to getting his canned dog food now. You can go read my hub about it all and the signs of that verses the signs of a stroke, which that is what we thought that he had. http://ladyguinevere.hubpages.com/hub/Vertigo-In-Dogs-And-In-Cats
DeleteI moved a few hubs, but I am reindexing others. All of this takes work, and it is sad because the articles they decide to unteature all seem good to me. Also, I am perplexed because many of the articles Hubpages decides to feature daily on their site do not seem to be of a greater quality than old hubs they are deindexing. It seems pretty willy nilly to me. Besides that, I enjoyed reading your old hub, which is now a blog post. It is cool to see a picture of Sword when she was younger. Boy has time gone by since the Hubpages heyday, but it seems just like yesterday.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Julia. Glad you enjoyed the old hub. It seems like only yesterday to me, too.
DeleteIt used to be fun but now, I don't like it over there.
DeleteYes, I agree. The usefulness of that site has been greatly diminished.
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