I am a primatologist who spends twelve hours most days in the company of a thirteen year old chimpanzee named Bow. I am also an editor with Inverted-A Press.
Go away for less than two weeks, and everything changes. You leave in the height of summer, when the grass is green and flowers are blooming, and you come back to see drought conditions, with trees shedding their leaves, butterflies on their last wings, deer looking starved and emaciated and blackberries turning into prunes.
People and animals who were alive when we left are now dead. The landscape is eerily different, and we feel as if we had been through a time warp.
We are back from a trip to visit my mother in Bloomington and to speak at the Missouri Libertarian Party Convention in Jefferson City.
Bow on our return
Lawrence stayed with Bow and took care of our dogs and birds as well. We had to come home immediately after the Missouri Libertarian Convention, because, while we were in Bloomington, a son of our neighbor friends was killed in a tractor accident, and we wanted to get back in time for the memorial service. But while we were still in Jefferson City, Lawrence texted us some more bad news. Brownie had just died.
The Memorial Picture that Sword posted about Brownie
When we got back, Bow did not say anything to me about Brownie's death. He just set about grooming me very meticulously.
Sword and I had gotten a manicure while away, but Bow thought I needed a new manicure, and a pedicure.
And a facial.
I went outside to mow the backyard the next morning, but a butterfly came and landed on a leaf and stood in my way, so I had to stop.
It was the red spotted purple that we had seen many times before around this time of year.
The dead leaf the butterfly was standing on is one of many leaves that our tulip tree shed during the drought that had fallen on the land while we were away.
The orange spotted purple on a dead tulip leaf
Leo is now our only dog. Here he is, amid a multitude of dead tulip tree leaves.
Leo in the backyard amid dead tulip tree leaves
There had been grass fires while we were away. Not on our property or near it, but close enough that it impacted people in our community. And unrelated to that, a young man, thirty-one years old, a husband and a father, and a pillar of the community, had been cut down in his prime in a tractor accident. He was the eldest son of our neighbors and friends, and Sword and I went to the memorial service. The local elementary school gymnasium was packed to overflowing with the hundreds of people who had come to pay their respects. We sat next to Bow's friend Charla at the service.
There were many more people mourning this young man than there had been libertarians at the Missouri Libertarian Party State Convention. He was well loved and will be sorely missed.
I asked Lawrence later whether Bow had said anything about Brownie's death. Lawrence said he had told Bow that Brownie had died, and Bow spelled out "b-a-d". "Bad? What do you mean, Bow?" Lawrence asked. Bow elaborated by spelling out "s-a-d". But soon after that, he asked Lawrence to play chase with him.
Bow and Brownie don't interact much. But the other day, when Bow was sitting outside, I noticed that Brownie was curled up right next to the corner of the outer pen where Bow was sitting. It was as if he were keeping Bow company.
Bow takes it easy on the rim of the bench
Every night, when I coax Brownie to come in from the cold and spend the night in my bedroom, I know that Bow, in the inner pen, all snuggled up in his blankets and safe in the warm darkness of his night time safe place, is listening to me and Brownie interact. Brownie is older now, and he is very slow to come when I call him. Some of that is because his lumbering gait has changed a little over time, but another reason is that he does not seem to respond to my verbal coaxing. It is only when I reach out and touch him and beckon with my hand that he finally decides that it is okay to come in through the open sliding glass door. Then I hear Bow make an approving, low sounding "ah-ah-ah" sound from inside the inner pen, which means he feels all is well with me and Brownie. "Good night, Bow," I call out to him in Hebrew, and then I close the glass door. The house is built in such a way that you can actually see into my room from the inner pen, unless I have the curtain drawn.
Brownie takes it easy in a blanket of leaves
Brownie is sweet and very cooperative, but I have always felt, ever since he adopted us, that his language comprehension was less developed than that of our other dogs and overall less advanced than that of any other dogs I have known throughout my life.
I speculated that maybe it was because by the time he found us outside of my daughter's gymnastics class and asked that we take him home with us he was already about two years old. I thought maybe it was because we speak Hebrew at home, but he was probably exposed only to English during his puppyhood. But today, I have a different theory. Because today I realized that Brownie is deaf.
View of the ledge in front of my bedroom door from the pen
When I went out to give Brownie his breakfast, Leo was standing on the ledge that leads to my room, eagerly awaiting the feeding, even though Brownie never lets him eat. (We have to feed Leo separately inside.) But Brownie knew this was his breakfast time, and he stood and looked eagerly toward the center of house, with his back to me. He looked as if he thought I was still in the inner pen. I came and stood right behind him and told him that breakfast was ready and asked him to come. But Brownie just kept looking longingly at the house, and it was only when I touched him lightly on the flank that he turned around, startled, then happy to see me. He followed me right to the ledge of my room, where I put his bowl down, and he eagerly ate.
Somebody recently talked to me about how the language ability of apes is far better than that of dogs, and I told her that actually I have known some dogs who had excellent language comprehension, though, of course, they had no means of production. They understood things I said in Hebrew to them that no one else in the room understood, because everyone else spoke only English. Or they attended to things as a result of a conversation that was not directed to them, but they learned new information by eavesdropping. However, I had to admit that not all dogs are equally good at understanding spoken human language. I was thinking of Brownie. He has always been unusually dense when it came to interpreting speech directed at him.
Brownie was not always this deaf. When he was younger, he did hear noises, and he did know when someone was coming. That's why I did not understand why it was so hard for him to interpret what I said. But I suspect that he may always have been somewhat deaf, and this may have been his secret challenge even when he was young.
Dogs can understand spoken language -- but not if they're deaf. I think Bow has always been more tolerant of Brownie than of the other dogs, because maybe he knew what I didn't: that Brownie could not make out what we said to him.
The weather was nice for a while, though it has been raining more lately. Still Bow has been able to go out almost every day.
We even filmed an endorsement video together out of doors. You can see Brownie digging under the shedding dogwood tree at the beginning of the video.
Leo and Brownie by the shedding dogwood
The significance of that view of Brownie right at the start of the video is this: before I heard Austin Petersen speak, I was supporting Brownie for president. None of the other candidates I had heard of were people I would ever vote for.
I think Brownie will not mind that I found someone else I'd rather have for president. He is pretty happy as things stand.
But meanwhile, the eggs in the nest by the fence have started to hatch. First there was just one little helpless hatchling in the nest, surrounded by two blue eggs.
That was yesterday, in the morning. But by afternoon there were two of them.
Today, there are still only two hatched. But notice how they have moved in reference to the one blue egg.
Their eyes are so huge and stuck shut. But this afternoon, one of them raised its head and opened its mouth, as if asking for a donation.
Meanwhile, in the nest by my door, there are still four blue eggs, all of them intact. I am beginning to worry about them. We must not count our robins before they hatch.
Yesterday was so warm that it felt like spring. I went for a walk in the pasture, and a butterfly flew past me! Bow and the dogs were all feeling the warmth in the air, and we all congregated outdoors.
But while Bow just wanted to sit in a high place and enjoy the warmth, Leo wanted to play, and he jumped high in the air and barked to draw Bow's attention.
I called Leo over and asked him to stop pestering Bow, and he came by to the other side of the pen, complying with my request. It was such a nice day that I even took my own turn on the swing. Brownie, who is no longer a young dog, walked by and dropped a rock he hoped someone would throw so he could retrieve it.
In some neighbors' yards, the daffodils are already blooming. But ours got burned in the grass fire, so it may take a little longer this year. That's okay, because there is snow scheduled for Wednesday.
It has been a very mild winter so far. But yesterday and today school has been canceled due to snow. It is a very small amount of snow, mind you. Just a very thin coating on the ground. Nevertheless, yesterday morning Bow was cautious and decided to stay in.
He helped me to continue proofing the new book,
After lunch, I took a very short walk to the mailbox to pick up the mail.
When I returned, Bow told me that he wanted to go outside. I was quite surprised, but I complied with his request.
Bow was not going to get his feet wet, snow or no snow. So he had me temporarily hold the door shut, and then he gingerly climbed from the dry stoop to the bench, without touching the floor of the outer pen. But that does not mean he does not like snow. He sampled the snow accumulated on top of the crossbeam support, and he found it was good.
Brownie just grumbled a little and walked away, but Leo started barking, hoping Bow would play chase. But Bow would not be goaded this time. He stayed calm. No way was he getting his feet wet! He was staying put on the bench.
Leo could bark all he wanted, but there was no response from Bow.
Of course, Bow did not stay there long. He came in to warm up in short order. This morning, after breakfast, Bow asked to go out again. But when he felt how cold it was, he did not venture out. He came back and asked for his blanket, instead. It's not a bad life.
I am almost never alone now. When not with Bow, I am either accompanied by the kitten or surrounded by the dogs. This makes chasing butterflies a little difficult.
Bow oversees all backyard activities
When in the backyard, I am supervised by Bow in all my activities. For Bow, it's not always what he can touch -- sometimes just seeing is good enough. While Brownie and Leo can come in close and physically interfere in what I am doing, Bow can make vocal commentary, which can sometimes have a similar effect.
Yesterday afternoon I saw a red-spotted purple butterfly in the backyard.
But coming in closer for a better look was a challenge.
First the dogs had to come in closer, and later Bow had his say, which was distracting, so that I lost sight of the butterfly.
Eventually I found it again, but the situation was less than ideal. It isn't much better on the other side of that eight foot fence, though. In the front yard, after a rain, the butterflies like to warm themselves on the outer road. That's where Nala the kitten comes in.
Nala looks innocent while a Pearl Crescent flies right over her
Nala will innocently plop down on the warm gravel road and start rolling around, placing herself right in the path of an oncoming pearl crescent.
The butterfly flies right over her and she hardly notices.
Sometimes Nala does seem to be interested in the butterflies, but the method that works best is not when she chases them, but when she lies still.
Can you see the butterfly hovering right over Nala's right eye?
Only rarely can I capture a picture of a Pearl Crescent sans kitten.
It is easier to get closer to the butterflies if there is not also a cat or dog or chimpanzees in the vicinity directing all activities.
And the obeservation of a Monarch that chooses our side of the fence over the neighbors is much easier without the presence of a cat critic.
Bow's outings are important.
But so are mine.
And sometimes the views that give us the greatest peace of mind are not those closest to hand. It's not always what you can touch -- sometimes just seeing is good enough.
The wide open spaces that I don't own can give me the most perspective.
I have found that if I do a little mowing in the backyard every day, it does not have to become an overwhelming chore.
Leo is very invested in my mowing
I can take lots of little breaks to smell the flowers.
The Asian dayflowers bloom early each day and then wilt
Leo and Brownie and Bow are all there to participate, each in his own way.
Bow watches me as I mow from inside the outer pen
Sometimes I will take a break on the trampoline, and can view everything that is happening in the yard from a nice vantage point.
Of course, I am not as high up as, say, a kitten on the roof, but that is okay.
Even though I have only mowed about half the yard today, I can take time off when lunch comes around. Later Bow suggests that I go out for a walk in the front yard. I ask him why, and he says because it is good. But he adds: "רק אל תדברי עם החתול". "Just don't talk to the cat."
I don't talk to the kitten, but there is no way I can keep it from talking to me, as it meows at me from the roof as I go out the front door for my walk.
In the pasture there are many new flowers I have not seen before.
Because the path through the pasture passes right by the barn, I have been avoiding it, thinking this would get the kitten to following me.
But now that I know that the kitten does not spend any time in the barn at all, and that it is on the roof all the time, I feel better about venturing into this unspoiled wilderness without an exotic carnivore at my heals.
I can observe the bumblebee on the blossom without fear of disturbance from a feline follower.
"This blossom is occupied," said the beetle to the bumblebee.
On my way back down the path after completing a circuit of the pasture, I encounter a couple of turtles. They are going single file, one after the other.
Could it be mating season? Is this a male pursuing a female? (My turtle expert, Pam Keyes later confirms this.)
Just then I hear a meowing in the background.
The kitten suddenly appears and moves in to investigate.
Just let me check what it smells like!
This is a bit disturbing. What would a kitten do with a turtle, if left to its own devices? It backs away from the turtles when I am watching, but I do not trust it alone with them.
Eventually, as the kitten will not go far so long as the turtles are still there and I am still there, and I am concerned about what might happen if I leave first, I pick up the kitten by the scruff of its neck -- which it allows, as I am like a mother cat when I do this -- and I lock it momentarily in a storage building where we keep discarded toys.When I return moments later to check on the turtles, they are nowhere in sight. They move fast when you are not looking! So I go back and let the kitten out of storage. It follows me all the way home, and once I am inside it probably goes back up on the roof.
I meant to do as Bow asked and not talk to the cat, but that is more easily said than done.
When you have wild flowers in your yard, there will also be butterflies. Since I have left the Asian dayflower weeds alone when mowing the yard, there are now flowers there every day. They bloom in the morning and wilt at night. But every time I am in the backyard Bow and Leo and Brownie are all there.
Every time the dogs see that I am interested in something, they come huffing and puffing along to see what it is, and if I haven't frightened the butterfly away, the dogs always do. That's how I missed a perfectly good shot of a Red Admiral, and Common Buckeye and countless others that were attracted by the dayflowers. But yesterday I got lucky. Despite the chimp and dog noises, and with the dogs milling around everywhere, I got quite a few butterfly pictures, anyway.
There was a damaged red-spotted purple butterfly who took refuge on the wall of the house just above where the dog dishes were.
At about the same time, a silver spotted skipper came by and seemed to want to clean the dog food bowl.
There are always crumbs of dog food that no matter how hungry they are, the dogs cannot seem to lap up,
The skipper seemed to want to finish up the job.
Meanwhile, the damaged red-spotted purple was still in the area.
And though I thought that I had seen it take off over the wall, a little later I saw it, or a near relative with a damaged wing, in the back of the yard, by the trampoline.
On a nearby dayflower, an undamaged red-spotted purple was resting.
The dark blue of the red-spotted purple went well with the two blue petals of the dayflower.
You might think that with the much wider variety of flowers in my front yard and the pasture and the woods, there would be many more butterflies outside of the backyard with its barking dogs and displaying chimpanzee.
Ashy Sunflowers in the Pasture
And, of course, there are. There are, for instance, many yellow butterflies, clouded and unclouded sulfurs, I think they are called, but they are so flitty that they will not stop for a picture.
In the afternoon, I even thought I saw a Monarch flying over the pasture. But I could only film it from afar.
Happiness comes from the simple things. Like deciding to go outside on a foggy morning and lying on the bench in your own special way.
It is nice to have loyal friends like Leo and Brownie, and to be able to ignore them when you feel like it, and to engage them on your own terms when the spirit moves you.
Happiness, for a dog like Brownie, is being able to spend hours on end digging up rocks.
They say that the best things in life are free. Brownie agrees. He prefers playing with a rock he has dug up from the ground to doing almost anything else.
Of course, the rock isn't really free. We have to pay property taxes to the county and the state in order to be able to hold onto the land we own so we can keep digging up rocks. But Brownie does not know this.
I get a real jolt of joy every time I spot a butterfly and can observe it close up.
I enjoy the sunsets, with their special sights and sounds.
You would think that a sunset, at least, would be free, but even that is not strictly true. To have an unobstructed view of the horizon line and to be able to listen to the crickets and the cicadas and the birds without engine noises costs money. It's the money that it takes to live far, far away from other people.
These are flowers growing by the side of the road, just on the other side of the fence that delimits my property. Aren't they pretty? A couple of days ago the county mowers came and plowed them under. They are no more. But I enjoy the memory.
Limenitis Arthemis Astyanax.
Yesterday, I was finally able to film the red-spotted purple butterfly that can be found on my property. I have been seeing a lot of them everywhere, in the backyard or flying past the front porch or in the poison ivy that lines the lagoon, but up till now, none of them would sit still long enough for me to take a picture.
Limenitis Arthemis Astyanax. taking off
This one would not sit still very long, either. As I approached for a better look, it took off and then flew very close to my face, before disappearing into the pasture.
Limenitis Arthemis Astyanax.close to my face
Still, being able to get this close to the the red-spotted purple (aka Limentitis Arthemis Astyanax) makes me very happy.
I also enjoy observing those much tinier butterflies who turn from white to blue to white again.
They amaze me!
The rabbits on my property are so blasé about seeing me, they actually stop to scratch before they hop off.
I saw this little guy through my kitchen window as I was doing the dishes last night. Then when I went out to feed the kitten in the barn, he was still there.
That rabbit was so comfortable with my presence, that it stopped to scratch before taking evasive maneuvers. And guess what? The kitten was just around the corner of the house. It wondered what was taking me so long to get to the barn.
The best things in life are free, they say. Sure, they are free, after you finish paying for that freedom. Brownie, Leo and the kitten did not cost anything to acquire, but they cost a lot to keep. I often see these memes with a man, a woman and a child romping around on a beach. "The Best Things in Life Are Free" it says. "Oh, yeah?" I want to ask: "How much did that pretty wife (or sexy husband) set you back? How much money is that child costing you? How did you get to go to the beach?"
People have to save up before they can start a family. They need to put aside money for time to look at butterflies or talk with apes, too. Anytime you go after someone else's savings, you are attacking the simple things in life and making them definitely not free. If the price is too steep, all those things have to go.
Nothing that is worth having is free. It's a fact of life. But it should not cost you more than what it took to acquire and feed it. So the next time you go to the polls, vote for lower taxes, so that we don't have to pay for those free things over and over again, once we have gotten them. Real freedom is when you can stop paying for the right to keep what you already have.
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